The Most Important Person in Your Child’s Preschool Is Their Educator

October 2, 2026 By Amy Cowan

Quick Answer: Research on early childhood programs keeps finding that the relationship between a child and the educator matters more than almost anything else in the room. When you tour a preschool, spend less time looking at the shelves and more time watching how the adults talk to children.

Key Takeaways:

A warm, steady relationship with an educator supports a child’s behavior, learning, and attitude toward school.
Knowing a child takes time, which is why educator turnover matters.
On a tour, watch for educators at children’s eye level, asking questions, and using children’s names.
Ask an educator to tell you something specific they’ve noticed about a child this week.
Separation anxiety eases when a child finds an adult who makes her feel safe.

Why the educator matters most

Families often start a preschool search with curriculum, schedule, and cost. Those matter. The research points somewhere else too: children do better when they have warm, consistent, responsive relationships with their educators. A 2001 study in Child Development by Hamre and Pianta found that the quality of early educator-child relationships predicted school outcomes through eighth grade. NAEYC’s developmentally appropriate practice guidelines say the same thing in plainer language: children learn best when they feel known and safe.

A child who feels known takes more learning risks. A child who doesn’t may hold back, whatever the classroom looks like.

What a good relationship looks like

A good educator watches more than she talks. She notices when a child seems off before the child can say so. She remembers what he was building yesterday and picks it up. She knows one child needs an extra minute at transitions and another thrives with a job to do.

You’ll hear it in how educators speak. “Jordan, I saw you working with the blocks yesterday. Do you want to pick that up again?” is the voice of someone who knows a child.

How Ivybrook hires and supports educators

We look for experienced educators who talk more about children than about themselves. When a candidate lights up describing a specific student, that’s the green flag one of our principals looks for.

After hiring, educators train in person at Ivybrook University on set curricula. A franchise support coach provides ongoing oversight, and each campus owner leads professional development with the educators on site. The Our People page introduces some of them.

What to watch for on a tour

Watch whether educators kneel to eye level and ask questions or give directions. Notice whether they use children’s names and refer to specific things. Listen to the room: engaged, sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, rarely anxious. Ask how long educators have been at the school and what happens when one leaves.

Separation, and why the relationship solves it

If your child is nervous about starting, the educator relationship is where that worry gets resolved. Children settle because they find an adult who makes them feel safe, and the room matters less. At Ivybrook, educators plan around the hardest moments. One principal described a three-year-old who didn’t want to leave the car in the fall. Her team stayed consistent and got creative, with class pets and provocations she could look forward to. By the next year, the child ran into the building.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know my child is known, not just supervised?

Ask the educator to tell you something specific they noticed about your child this week. A known child gets a specific answer: what he built, what he said, what he’s working on. A general answer like “he’s doing great” tells you less.

Does educator turnover matter?

Yes. Relationships take time to build, and frequent turnover resets them. Ask any school how long its educators have stayed and how it supports them. Ivybrook invests in retention through compensation, culture, and professional development.

What if my child and the educator aren’t a good fit?

Tell the director early. Most concerns come from small mismatches in communication or routine, and a conversation often solves them. Our first response is to build the relationship, and your concern is never dismissed.

How long does separation anxiety last?

It varies. Many children settle within the first few weeks as trust in the educator builds. If it continues, work with the educator and director to find what helps, such as a goodbye routine or a special job in the morning.

Meet the educators

Schedule a tour at your nearest campus and watch how the educators talk to children.

Sources: Hamre, B. K., and Pianta, R. C. (2001), “Early Teacher-Child Relationships and the Trajectory of Children’s School Outcomes through Eighth Grade,” Child Development 72(2). NAEYC, Developmentally Appropriate Practice position statement.